Happy Crazy Holidays!

This is the time of year that my head goes to so many places, that I become (as Gramma would say), "a bit off my rocker."
   
     With the coming of the holidays, emotions fly high, low, and run circles in my brain.My childhood memories dance in my brain, to music that is like a jam session! Over the years, celebrations have transitioned into more peaceful, quiet celebrations... and I am learning to love the holidays, not for the fact that they are holidays, but rather, for the fact that I know that each day is a celebration, and the people we love are in our hearts each day, not just on calendar holidays!

1950's...
     Visions of my gramma's piano room curtains closed, so that we cannot see the beauty of the tree until Grampa opens them. Gramma's pies fill the air with delicious fragrances, and she has made a special recipe of hot chocolate for the children!  There are so many relatives crammed into the parlor, that there is no room for movement of any kind, once everyone has found a place to sit. I try to be near my favorite cousin, Pam. She makes me feel calm in the confusion. Chaotic sounds abound, until Gramma stands and informs everyone it is time to open presents! It is then, that Grampa opens the burgandy velvet curtains with such a flamboyant gesture that everyone knows that this year's tree is the most beautiful of all!

1960's...

     Christmas celebrations moved to Mom and Dad's house. Gramma and Grampa are just too old to handle all the noise and relatives! The week before Christmas, Mom is a wreck, checking to make sure there are exactly the same number of presents under the tree for every child. She would run back to the store for another shirt for Dad, and sneak it into the house, hand it to me, or my sister, and say 'go upstairs and wrap this up now, before your father sees!
     Christmas night, at precisely 6pm, everyone had to be seated, and the youngsters would be informed that they would be handing out the presents before they opened their own. After all, everyone must have a gift in hand, so as not to feel left out of the celebration. (of course the stress level rose rapidly, due to: a) there was always one person who didn't have a gift, so mom would go to her 'stash' and bring out the generic gift, wrapped in the most wonderful paper... and b) there were about 50 to 60 people crammed into the living room, so getting said presents to the recipients was nearly impossible!

1970's..
      My husband and I married and moved away. I became the crazy lady that needed to buy gifts for everyone in the family, and did we send out a card to the neighbor ? Do we have enough wrapping paper for all the presents? We need to go to the store and get one more gift! 
      A real tree is the ONLY kind of tree that will ever be in our house, and yes, we will have one EVERY year! (Who doesn't!??) And we MUST have the lights outside on the BIG tree, the week after Thanksgiving!
This was me, thinking I was doing all the right things, for everyone... not realizing that I was probably driving my husband crazy, (and he was still being patient as ever with me!) On top of all this at home, we also had to drive to Vermont, and make sure we visited every member of the family, to prove we loved them all. (Did I mention that between us we have 14 siblings ???!!!


2011. (Thankfully we have made it through all the above chaos!!!)
    
     This year, I am sitting here at home, with an outdoor tree, and a lighted wreath in the kitchen window, and blue star snowflakes blinking outside on the front of the house. I have all my shopping finished, and am packing up for a vacation in Florida. We are not rushing about in a whirlwind, and I am enjoying the quiet. My grown up kids won't be home for Christmas, and that is okay. They have adult lives, and they are journeying through their lives by choices they make. That is the way I want them to live. By choices, not by unfounded social rules, calendars. I keep them in my heart all year round, and just sitting here thinking of them, I smile. This is the best gift of all, with no fancy paper, no fancy bow... just a quiet peaceful time, which allows me to really think about how great my family is all year long! (Oh, and yes, I will also have hot chocolate!)